Is it Friday?

Doh! It's only Tuesday. Actually things aren't going too bad. I have some WONDERFUL news to share, It's official, Alex, Alyssa and Robbie will be HOMESCHOOLED next year!!!!! Ladies, I am so excited!!! I have a phone conference Thursday morning with the lady who coordinates all the homeschooling, we're going through the same program I did with Alex last year. She was so happy to hear from me, it was really neat.

She's also checking into whether or not they can get Robbie speech therapy while he's being homeschooled. I'm praying that they can. I really don't want to have to walk to the school once a week for him to go for 45min of therapy, of course I will if need be. They don't have an ECS homeschool curriculum so together we will create one for Robbie. ECS isn't mandatory here, so apparently if you want your child to have kindergarten, you have to send them!! Oh, well.

Those of you who homeschool, know the excitement. The waiting for your curriculum, the planning of your school year!!!! I can hardly wait!!

My sister will be arriving tomorrow night. She is staying with all the kids (God bless her!!) so Bill and I can alone to my appointment. The kids are excited, I am keeping Alex and Alyssa home for the afternoon, probably the entire day.

Both kids have been having a terrible time at school. Both yesterday and today Alyssa was in tears about staying. Yesterday I brought her home, but today I walked her to class, and talked with her teacher. I told her UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES is she to keep Alyssa at school if she gets upset. We can't figure out what is going at school that is making her so upset. Alex has been very grumpy lately and has had a lot of outbursts. I'm beginning to wonder if it's all because of me? They see me not being able to walk up the stairs, or the tears that run down my cheeks when we walk sometimes. I think it's getting to them. Of course we talk about it, I've told them all that I can. We prayed last night that the dr I am seeing on Thursday will have an answer. The kids are so sweet, Alyssa:"please God, make mommy feel better and make that dr make her better too, she can't make bread and I like her bread"LOL Alex;"please God, give my mommy a break, she really doesn't like sore legs and I need her to wash my socks because she won't let me wash the clothes in a bleach wash, and I get sad when she hurts"LOL

Anyways, must go make lunch!!
Have a great day!!
BTW:I am putting together a booklet about OAMC (once-a-month cooking) with a brief explanation on what it is, tips and tricks that I've come across and of course ALL the recipes I use. It's going to be in word format, so you can print it off and create your own meals from it!! Send me an email titled: OAMC and I will add you to the list of ladies receiving it!! I hope to have it out by this weekend and I'm going to be sending it out in groups of ten, so I don't lose or forget somebody!! It's a HUGE group, I never realized there was so many interested, that's why I thought I'd post it here too!!
God bless!!

God showed Himself to me today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes you read that right, He could not have made himself MORE clear, other than walking through my front door!!!

Okay, I'll back track a little and update.

All of Friday's appointments went well, little Mariah is just that, LITTLE!!!LOL
She weighed in at 17lbs on the nose and 28 1/4 inches long!! Teeny tiny!!LOL Once again, they expressed concern *sigh* I calmly said, I'm NOT!! She's still happily nursing, and she has one or two cups/bottles of homo milk here and there as a drink along with applejuice. She's slowly taking to table foods (LOVES macaroni and cheese, yoghurt, applesauce, HATES meat and eggs!!)Whatever, she's bright and VERY happy, obviously far from starvation!!LOL Robbie did SO good, I was so proud, he didn't even cry AND he got two needles in his arm. (It was his booster for MMR and DTP) Alyssa came with us and sat right beside him during the whole time, telling him what a strong brave boy he was being. The nurse thought that quite special.
Robbie is 40lbs on the nose, and I can't remember his height off the top of my mind.....

Went grocery shopping that night, Shellie wasn't able to go, so Bill took me. When I go with him I have to RUN through the store. I did the entire trip in 1hr 10min!!! This is record speed for me!!!

Saturday was another bad day, pain wise. But, I managed. That night we were invited to a BBQ with friends of ours and of course Uncle Rob and Auntie Shellie!! It's wonderful because the people that were hosting are expecting their first baby on June 22nd. They had Been trying for over 6yrs, and had basically given up, when, by God's grace, walla they found out they were expecting. God is so good. These are also very good people and adore children. Of course my kids had a blast. They roasted marshmallows and made smores for the first time ever. They also had lot's of treats and roasted hotdogs too. It was a late night, but you have to do it once in awhile. Unfortunately for me, by the time we left I was in horrible pain and could barely walk. I 'found' two Tylenol 3's (thankyou, you know who you are!!!) so at least I was able to have a restful sleep.

However, when I awoke this morning it was a different story. I had really bad weakness and pain. So we decided that Bill would take me over to the clinic to see about a)getting checked out and b)pain medication to hold me out until I see the Rhuematologist on Thursday, after he went to support and root for Uncle Rob's football team. (I had to stay home in the am, because Mr.lawn guy was 'supposed' to come) Anyways, by the time he got home, I was really bad. I thought for sure I was going to fall. Soooooo, we go to the clinic, Bill drops me off and takes the kids for a drive. I go in and discover that I won't, at least, have a long wait 20min max.

I ask which drs are on, and she mentions two I had never seen before, I start thinking great, here I go trying to explain everything again! When the dr comes in she introduces herself (THIS IS THE GOOD PART, GOD IS GOOD) and asks what I need today. I had brought my original prescription bottle in with me, and said I was looking to get it refilled, but only for enough until Thursday. She asks why I'm on them, I start explaining and she listened to EVERY word I said. Then she offers, I can't give you an official diagnosis, but can I tell you what I think? I cautiously say yes. She says it sounds like I am suffering from......drumroll please......Fibromyalgia!!!!! I say well, that's what I've been thinking. Then, she blew me away. She asks if I am a part of any faith. I say pardon me? She repeats herself, and says are you a part of any faith? And I say, well yes, I am Christian. She asks if it is alright if she could pray over me!!!!! WOW!! I was completely shocked, never, ever, ever has a DOCTOR EVER asked me that. This wonderful, God sent woman prayed over me for almost five minutes. She held my hand and cried and asked the Lord to please lay His healing hands over me and my family and that we trust Him and know that no illness is without His strength. We prayed for the Rheumatoligists wisdom and any other drs I may see. It was TRULY amazing. Afterwards we cried for a brief second, me mostly because I have never been prayed over like that before, and her simply because she CARED. We then talked about allowing God to heal me and guide me and trusting Him. She also explained to me that there is a place just outside of town that allows patients with problems like me and other diseases, to see a dr AND have prayer. WOW!!! She refilled my prescription and told me that I need to seek whatever wisdom I need, and to allow God to show me the way, as He did today. So, I walk out of there, and Bill is like, what is up? I told him what just happened, and he was in shock and got teary eyed. He said, well if that doesn't yell at you, I don't know what will!!!!LOL
Honestly, I have been praying for Him to send me a sign, show me that he hears my prayers at night and all day. And He did just that, He gave me hope and renewed my spirit. He showed me that He has not forsaken me, that He is right here with me.

So, backtrack a little more, I was waiting all morning for the lawn guy to show and he didn't, so I'm thinking, great, burnt again. As we pull up to the house, guess who is in our yard?!?!?!?LOL, Yup, the lawn guy and his son. They did a fabulous job and charged us next to nothing!!! He's also going to come back every week and mow. Praise the Lord!!!!

So, with a renewed spirit, and the knowledge of the Lord being right by my side, and the pain medication, I am ready to take on this week. I know that Thursday will be good and this dr is God's control.

So with that, I will close. Thank you ladies for all your wonderful thoughts and prayers, please keep them coming HE IS HEARING THEM!!!!!!

God bless you all!!
PS> Daphne, I will post the list for you later this week, it is a very LONG list!!
and I am also doing up a special for fellow MOMYS regarding OAMC!! Busy, busy!! But don't worry I will most certainly post that for you!! Take care!!

Hello!!!

This week has gone by rather quickly, which I don't mind. I love weekends and now I will love them even more. Bill officially starts his new position next week!! Yeah no more nights for awhile, he'll still have some here and there, but at least he won't work as late.

Nothing real exciting to report. The lawn guy DID get back to me today (I had almost thought I had lost another one!!LOL) He said he would do it and it should be done this weekend!!! Hurray!! That is such a huge stress relief for me.

My sister goes to look at a couple apartments tomorrow, she's so excited. Especially since she got approved for a line of credit, so she has enough money to cover everything. I'm so proud of her!!

Finally the one week countdown begins until my appointment, hopefully next week goes by fast too. I'm so anxious to get an answer, and maybe some proper pain medication or at least better pain management. (BTW, thankyou Veronica for checking that out for me!!!)

Well, I don't really have much to chat about, so I'll go update my food blog, and then sign out!!
Have a great friday!!
God bless!!

WEEKEND UPDATE

First off, I updated my FOOD BLOG I figured it had been awhile!!LOL

Well, my weekend was a mixture of horrible and really good. What a mix, hey??

First, all the good stuff!!!
Sunday, I felt fabulous. I had next to no pain and it was terrific because it was Mariah's 1st birthday!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE I'm so glad that God gave me that day. We had so much fun. The kids made homemade games to play with each other (pin the tail on the giraffe!!LOL) We decorated her cake. We played all afternoon as a family because Bill had the day off (it was a long weekend here) then we had a scrumptious dinner of homemade hamburgers and french fries. Then we went for a nice walk to our lake and the kids played at the park there and Bill and I played on the swings he still get's a kick out of pushing me really high and hearing me freak out (I'm terrified of heights!!) Then we all played on the swings and were trying to get Alex and Alyssa to learn how to pump!! Then when we got home it was time for cake and ice cream!! That was a blast and Mariah LOVED her cake. (I have some pics to post, but will post more when I get the roll of film developed. I used the webcam to take a pic of the cake and dinner) Then it was bathtime, and everyone pretty much collapsed into bed. Bill bought a Star Wars game for 'my' Xbox (LOL) so we played that when all the kiddos were asleep. It's days like those you treasure, and if I can have a day like that here and there, I can take whatever is going on with me.

The other good stuff, Saturday was a horrible day for me. I was in excruciating pain and nothing was helping. My sweet Bill, decided that he would try his best to help me. I had just crawled into bed, when he came out of the bathroom and called me to come (I just thought he was having a bath) When I walked into the bathroom, there were candles lit everywhere and a nice hot bubble bath awaiting me. Now because of my pain, I can't always get comfortable in the bath (and of course it doesn't help that I'm only 5 feet tall and cannot lie in the bath without drowning!!LOL) so He crawled in first and then had me come in so I could lean back on him!!! He then used a sponge to drip the hot water all over my body to help relieve the pain. It was SOOO relaxing and nice to just be able to sit comfortably in the bath and be with him. He also tried to massage my legs, but that didn't work, the pain does not respond well to any type of massaging.
I did have to giggle about the bubble bath though, it was Double Bubble scented!!!ROFL!! You know you have kids when.....................

So even though it had some bad points, all in all it was a good weekend!!

Oh, and of course...our lawn. Yup, here we go again. Bill had asked me to set it up so that a maintenance company would come and give us a spring cleanup. I had a few people come and give estimates earlier this month. The Bill though he might just buy the lawnmower and do it himself, then he changed his mind. So I had lined up company A to come and do this for Thursday, well the people didn't even show up and haven't replied to any of my calls or emails. So I tried company B, had them lined up to come out on Saturday. They came, drove by the front and the back and then drove OFF!!!!! grrrr. I mean, I can certainly understand someone not wanting to do the job (it IS pretty scary back there...up to my knees) but, they could've TOLD me that!! So, Bill said he would take care of that company via logging a complaint. SOOOOO, I called another guy today. He called me back tonight, and is going to drive by and take a look as to what he will need machine wise and to give me an estimate. I told him to please call me, even if he didn't want the job. He was a very nice gentleman, and I don't think he'll bail out on us. I told him it's a jungle back there!!LOL
If this falls through, I don't know what to do. I'm sure the neighbor's aren't going to be quiet for much longer, and I doubt that it isn't much longer before the landlords are on the phone or at the door for that matter!!

I really hope it works out, I ordered a bunch of seeds from eBay and I can hardly wait to plant them. I've got a ton of different sunflowers/jasmine and lilacs to plant!! Not to mention getting some vegetable seeds in the other garden area.

On a sad note, my mother caved in. I had optimistically not been saying much in the hopes that I could give a full praise report in a month. However, for what ever reason, she started drinking last weekend and the last I had heard she still was/is. (she doesn't phone me when she's drinking) She had made it just about 5 months, but I guess things got to her. She has given my sister until June 18th to be out (my mom sold her house and is moving to a mobile home) so my sister is in a bit of a panic. She's trying desperately to find a place to live. Please keep her in your prayers. She has never been on her own, and while I believe she'll be just fine, it's scary nonetheless. Hopefully she'll be able to find something she'll be happy with.

Well, there's my update!!
Hope everyone had a good weekend, and here's to a good week!!

Upcoming appointments:
May 27th: Alex has a dentist appt. to have a molar pulled because the root has dissolved from a rather larger cavity. He's a little nervous. Thankfully it is a babytooth.
Also on that day is Mariah's 12mo vax appointment and Robbie's 4.5yo booster. Robbie is terrified as he hates needles, so I'm assuming it'll be a trial. After we finish there, we walk across the office and go to his speech therapy appt. After all that, it's grocery shopping!!! WHEW! Luckily I have that day off from the two little girls I look after. Which BTW, is going wonderful. Praise the Lord!!!
Then onto June, I have my appointment on the 2nd. Let us pray for God's will to be done that day!!!! I also will have that day off.

Also on my TO DO list is, to set up a home visit with the virtual school liaison in the next few weeks. So I can have all my curriculum ready to go for September. I'm 95% sure that I will be homeschooling all three in the fall. Unless God shows me a different path.

God Bless!!!

Here's the pics!!!

THE BIRTHDAY GIRL




THE CAREBEAR CAKE LOL




THE SUPPER!!!




Sorry for the ick factor and for them being so blurry, it gives you an idea!!
I'll post better pics, especially Mariah enjoying her cake, after I get the roll developed!!!

Wanted to share.....................

No, not more vomit cracks!!

I found this while I was surfing and I wanted to share it with you all. While I haven't been actually diagnosed with Lupus, what I am suffering is closely explained in this essay. I think anyone who is suffering from a chronic illness/disability can easily comprehend what this is saying, and if you aren't, then hopefully this 'theory' can explain things to you and help you understand what life is like.

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The Spoon Theory
My best friend and I were in the diner talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me this time, with a kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know? I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn't seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.
As I tried to gain my composure, I glanced around the table for help or guidance, or at least stall for time to think. I was trying to find the right words. How do I answer a question I never was able to answer for myself? How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity. I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.
At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands. I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices, or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of choice, a gift most people take for granted.
Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.
She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?
I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of "spoons". But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn't even started yet. I’ve wanted more "spoons" for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.
I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said " No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can't take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too." I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her a spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.
I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s "spoons", but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less "spoons". I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on "spoons", because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.
We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.
When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.
I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared”
Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day's plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count "spoons".
After we were emotional and talked about this for a little while longer, I sensed she was sad. Maybe she finally understood. Maybe she realized that she never could truly and honestly say she understands. But at least now she might not complain so much when I can't go out for dinner some nights, or when I never seem to make it to her house and she always has to drive to mine. I gave her a hug when we walked out of the diner. I had the one spoon in my hand and I said “Don’t worry. I see this as a blessing. I have been forced to think about everything I do. Do you know how many spoons people waste everyday? I don’t have room for wasted time, or wasted “spoons” and I chose to spend this time with you.”
Ever since this night, I have used the spoon theory to explain my life to many people. In fact, my family and friends refer to spoons all the time. It has been a code word for what I can and cannot do. Once people understand the spoon theory they seem to understand me better, but I also think they live their life a little differently too. I think it isn’t just good for understanding Lupus, but anyone dealing with any disability or illness. Hopefully, they don’t take so much for granted or their life in general. I give a piece of myself, in every sense of the word when I do anything. It has become an inside joke. I have become famous for saying to people jokingly that they should feel special when I spend time with them, because they have one of my "spoons".
© 2003 by Christine Miserandino Butyoudontlooksick.com
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I couldn't have said it better myself. While I hate whatever is going on inside me, I also want to take the time to appreciate the good days. I look at life much more differently now and have become much more aware of my capabilities. I'm still deeply saddened by the person that I have a lost, I guess it's actually grieving. It too, comes in steps. Denial, anger, sadness, these are all really true emotions that I have been experiencing. Add on family members that may not understand, it becomes a depressing situation. It has also made me become much closer to God, because if it wasn't for Him, I don't know where I would be. Leaving things in His hand and allowing Him to guide me and give me strength, is incredible. Chronic pain is terrible, it makes you decide every aspect of your life more carefully, even like the writer states about getting dressed and showering. Sometimes my hair just won't get washed because it's too painful to raise my arms that way. Every detail has to be planned on how you wake up that morning, and even then it's no guarantee, because things could change for the better or worse by lunchtime. With that, I've learned so far, take it one day at a time. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, all we really have is today and that is a GIFT, that is why we call it the PRESENT!

God bless!

Another one bites the dust.......................

Oh yeah, welcome friends to puke fest '05. It's by invitation only, and it's B.Y.O.B (Bring Your Own Bucket) As a token of our sincere appreciation, we will give each of our guests their very own can of Lysol, bottle of gravol, as well as a plastic sheet to drape over themselves. Entertainment will feature the famous heave-ho, and sir-chuck-a-lot, as well as a special appearance from barf-a-rama. You and a friend can enjoy a 6 night 7 day adventure, with numerous visits to the big white telephone. If you act now, you will also receive at no extra cost your choice of toilet paper, as well as the critically acclaimed diet extravaganza, named B.R.A.T (banana's, rice, applesauce and toast) WOW!! What a deal my friends, look for a representative in a neighborhood grocery store/restaurant or any other public place inhabited by humans, you will be able to notice us, as we usually have very pale faces and are moving at superhuman speed to get in and out.

Yup, I've seriously lost it. My house reeks. My days and nights are spent by listening to the pitter patter of feet followed by a sound that cannot be duplicated in writing. This is just gross. Actually, beyond gross. I really do not think there is a word in the English language that can possibly describe the degree of disgust.

The Rotavirus is a very rude virus, that should inevitably be destroyed. Actually, any virus that causes this sort of havoc on the human body needs to be destroyed.
Die Rotavirus....die......................
LOL!!!

It's a very good thing that I am not afraid of vomit. I'm not it's friend, but it doesn't send me running when someone leans over to bark. God created us all with a purpose, right?!?!?!?

So here's the puke tally:

Alex :o)
Alyssa :o(
Robbie :o|
Kayla :o)
Mariah :o|
Mommy :o(
Daddy :o)

Stay tuned.....................................................

God Bless!!!

EWWWWWW!!!!! I HAD to open my big mouth......

and say that there were no more 'breakouts' from this tummy virus. Now, it has hit me and Robbie is just getting over it from the weekend. I think Mariah is coming down with it too, she has a fever and smelly, icky poo. (sorry, TMI) So, that is why you may not have a reply to your email from me, yet. I'm sorry!!! Just thought I would pop in here because I know most of you check here.

Honestly I would rather have a houseload of coughing, sneezing children. This is just gross.

So, I may be off for awhile, if I get a few minutes here and there, I will reply to emails and visit blogs. This bug seems to last 5-7 days, that's 5-7 days to long for me!!LOL

Thank you again for your prayers and all your thoughtful emails, it is so nice and makes me feel so good. I have had some good things happen, especially regarding Bill. I will fill you in more when I have a chance, but in two weeks, I will have my hubby home in the evenings every two weeks and home by 11pm the other two...like I said though, I'll fill you in more when time allows.

God Bless you all!!!

So far so good.......................

With the tummy bug, that is.

No other outbreaks so far, perhaps my over indulgence with the bleach bottle and my obsessive with handwashing, paid off! We'll see.
Kayla seems to be completely over her tummy bug, and is happily eating up a storm to make up for lost time. Actually, that was my wake up call this morning. A package of instant oatmeal whacked me in the side of the face with the demand of "make me bowl oatmeal NOW", nice.
But, I'm glad she is back to her old self again.

Alex has this nasty cough, it almost sounds like a lung is going to come flying out of his mouth! No other symptoms, just this horrid cough. So, I've kept him home all week, so far. Alyssa went to school today, she had been home all week. She had been complaining of a tummy ache. I think it was more to do with anxiety over getting the same thing as Kayla. She's petrified of barf.lol.

As for me, ugh. That about sums it up. I found out about my appointment. It's scheduled for June 2nd at 2pm. I'm praying that this man will help me. I'm desperate. The naproxen is a joke, I'm tempted to stop taking it, simply because it's not working and it makes my stomach hurt terribly. I've tried taking it before, during and after I eat, as per the pharmacists suggestion. I've tried taking it with milk...Nothing. I figure, why keep loading my body with drugs, if they're not working?!? I need my tylenol 3's or something like them to diffuse the pain enough to function. I have no idea what else may work, I haven't tried anything stronger and I don't really want to be on anything stronger. I just know what doesn't work. I can purchase acetaminophen with codeine OTC, but it only has 8mg of codeine in it, not enough to help, and like I said, I'm not going to load my system with drugs that don't work. I was reading up on pain management for people with Fibromyalgia, the one drug that most people found that worked the best was Vicodin. Of course this was an American website, so I don't think we have that drug here. But we must have the equivalent. I know these are addictive drugs, and I'm really having a difficult time even thinking that I may need drugs that are habit forming. But, truly, I'm weighing the benefits vs risks, and I'm thinking if I have to take an addictive drug THAT WORKS, so as to function as a mama, then I'll do it. Unless of course this doctor has something else in mind, I'm up for trying, as long as the pain goes away.

Bill and I had a long discussion about the pain medication deal. Of course he doesn't want to see his wife popping pills all day, and although he originally disagreed about my taking pain meds on a regular basis, he's had a change of mind.

He says it tears him up to see me limping around in tears and being unable to even make it downstairs to do a load of laundry or tuck my kids in at night. It tears me up not being able to do the things I used to do. I love doing aerobics, and hiking. As of now those are shot out the window, and the walk in the morning to take the kids to school does me in for the day, it leaves me so exhausted, it's ridiculous. I mean, honestly, I have hyperactivity disorder!!!!!

Ah well, I shan't have a doomsday attitude yet, I must keep my spirit up for my kids and hubby. As hard as it is, I have to.

Once again, sorry for the vent. I really thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, they mean so much to me.

Grocery shopping tomorrow night, I've saved four tylenol 3's for the trip. Two for before and two for after, it's the only way I can manage. *sigh*

VERONICA what does your MIL do for relief? That's the tough thing with this darn disease, what works for one person, has horrible results for another.
thank you for your thoughts and prayers. God will prevail.

God bless you all dear sisters.

Happy Belated Mother's Day and update

Well, it seems as though the illness bugs aren't done at our house.

Kayla has been sick with Gastroenteritis since Friday. I'm on the edge waiting to see who it strikes next, although praying it won't.

On a good note, all of her tests came back excellent!! There are no signs of reflux or anything physical causing her UTI's. Praise the Lord. Why she keeps getting them, we don't know. What I do know is that I am very susceptible to them myself, perhaps it's just something hereditary.

Went for my test results and I'm no further ahead. They don't know what's wrong with me. I do have to go and have some more blood work done, because the big tests (for RA, lupus and such) came back inconclusive. She is also sending me to see a Rheumatologist, so maybe he/she will have an answer. I should find out when that appointment is, tomorrow. I feel in my heart it's Fibromyalgia. Every single symptom I have read that is associated with it, I have. The only thing I'm unsure of is the 'trigger points' on my body, because no one has tested that.

She also told me no more of the pain medication...yes, the pain medication that works, the pain medication that allows me to function somewhat normally, is not going to be prescribed to me by her anymore. Although she did prescribe medication that does nothing for me, the one that I specifically told her does not work alone, she gave me. *big sigh* So I have rationed out the last bit that I have, so I can at least have some part of the day to get things done.
I'm praying for the Lord to let this Reumatologist either have a diagnosis and a plan or at least give me the meds that work.
This is truly draining every ounce of 'me' out of me. I hate whatever is going on, and I'm trying desperately not to let my family suffer for it. Bill has been so patient, but let's face it, it get's tiresome hearing your wife complain about being in pain all the time. I'm just trying to suffer through it now, silently. I feel lost and sad, because how do you explain un-explainable pain? At least if you bash your arm and have a bruise, there is something somebody can visually see. With this, you can't see anything. I don't want to go anywhere, because sometimes I have to start limping because the muscles are so tight and sore in my legs, or my knees are so swollen I can't bend them properly to walk. My wrists are swollen and can't bend in certain directions without horrible pain. I have spasms in my hands, jaw and legs. Not to mention the jerks and jumps my legs do when I'm at rest (this is from the restless legs syndrome) and then when I try to sleep the ache and want to stretch and move. The drugs she put me on for that, I can't take for more than 5 days in a row because anymore than that my body becomes addicted to them and I could start seizuring if I stop...but that's alright because they don't do anything anyways. I'm just lost, thank goodness I have the Lord to pray to, sometimes that is the only way I can finally fall asleep, is saying the same prayer over and over again.
The one good thing that the other drugs she prescribed (the 'new' pain medication) seems to have brought down some of the inflammation, so this has made movement a bit easier, but I'm still taking the pain medication from before, so I'm afraid for when I have none left.

Oh well, let us pray that the Rheumatologist can help, if not, I honestly do not know what I will do. I know I cannot go on living life like this.

Sorry for the downer post, I really needed to vent, and I don't want to vent to my family or Bill anymore.

Well, Kayla is on the toilet again and it 'sounds' like I should go and help.
God Bless.

Finally!!!

Finally I got it altogether on here, all decked out for Mother's Day!!

Now for an update!

Kayla's appointment went well, as well as to be expected. We won't know anything about it until the results are sent into the doctors.
All we can do is pray. Her next appointment is this Friday.

This month is a very hectic month for us.

This week we have not only Kayla's VCU appointment, I also have to get some blood work done tomorrow and then I have an appointment on Thursday morning to get the results. We don't know what is wrong with me.
I've been in terrible pain these past few weeks. All over, body type pain. If you've read my blog for awhile, you'll know that I was loosely diagnosed with fatigue causing Fibromyalgia-like symptoms back in November of '02. I went through a phase of a remission type thing when we first moved in here, but now it's returned with a vengeance. It's the worst in my knees and my wrists, and my legs. My wrists have something called (I'm attempting the spelling here, I'm sure it's not correct, but you'll get the idea) DeQuirviens Tenolovitis, which I've had since September of '03.
So, anyways, when we were at the doctors for Kayla's appointment on the 26th, I told my doctor about the pain and this weird sensation I have been getting in my legs while I'm sitting or trying to go to sleep at night. It's the most annoying thing, it feels like they HAVE to stretch and move. It's uncontrollable. Then it's like there's a million little creepy crawlies under my skin all moving at once. She said it sounds like Restless Legs Syndrome. Thank the Lord she knew what I was talking about and that I wasn't losing my mind! She told me to keep up with taking Advil for the pain and prescribed some medicine for the RLS. Well, the weekend was terrible, and the meds she prescribed did nothing and I can't take any pain medication with them, so it was a nightmare. Tuesday morning I phoned hoping to get an appointment so I could get something for the pain, they had nothing. Wednesday was Kayla's ultrasound and that night I could barely walk the pain was so bad. I pretty much did nothing Thursday, except walk the kids to school, and that night it was the same thing. How am I supposed to be a mama, if I can barely walk down the stairs??

Friday morning I phoned and demanded to see my doctor. Amazingly, they had a spot available for 3:20 that afternoon!!!! I broke down in the office and told her I couldn't take it anymore, the pain is so excruciating. It's totally stripped me of my daily life. So, she's ordered blood tests to start with. I think she'[s leaning towards the possibility of Rheumatoid Athritis So we'll see what comes of the tests. It would be nice to know what the deal is, so we can treat it properly. Of course, there's a list of other things that can be wrong, and Fibromyalgia is one of them. So, that brings us up to now!! As for now, the doctor at least FINALLY gave me some pain medication...ahhhhhhh, I feel so much better. I actually managed to clean my basement and I will do some more tonight upstairs as well. Alex has been doing a super job with the laundry, and Alyssa and Robbie have done awesome with the folding and sort of putting them away for everyone.

Friday night was grocery shopping. I went with Auntie Shellie, it was so nice being out with her, it's been such a long time and I enjoy her company very much.
They had lot's of neat things on sale and we kept getting sidetracked!!LOL Although I found some awesome deals on some new makeup and a nice little nightie outfit (ahem, I guess that was more for Bill's benefit!!ROFL!!)

This afternoon I had Bill take me to go and get my blood work done, and the durned place was closed at 12pm (it was 1:30pm) for computer maintenance today!!GRRRRRRRRR!!!! So, lucky me, I'm going tomorrow. At least Bill offered to stay home with Kayla, Mariah and Robbie. But I'll have to take the new little girl I'm looking after with me. Oh yeah!! I gave R's family notice earlier this month, it was getting to be too much for me. So now the little girl I originally looked after (back before I had Mariah) is coming back and bringing her baby sister with her. Raye is about three weeks younger than Mariah and Connery is in the same grade as Alyssa. I've looked after Connery since she was 18mo, so it'll be nice to have them here. Not only that, I've more than doubled my income, so that is a nice perk too. It'll be nice, to once again get the bill's all caught up , and start saving money.

Well, I have to run, I did want to write more, but it's getting up to the dinner hour and my little munchkins are STARVING!!!LOL I'm taking it easy tonight and just doing hotdogs and Macaroni and Cheese and Salads.

Hope you all are doing well, and Maybe...just maybe I can pop by some of your blogs tonight!!! Hopefully my little teething monster will be able to sleep tonight!!

God bless!!

Poor Bill, he's just a basket case, please pray for him. He's so worried about all of us.