Thursday, June 2, 2005

After almost three years of pain and no one...........

knowing what is wrong with me. After feeling like I'm losing my mind and having doctors MAKE me feel that way, I finally...FINALLY have a diagnosis!!! lo and behold, guess what I have.......FIBROMYAGIA! Go figure, perhaps we as individuals are more in tune with our bodies than SOME doctors think?!?!

So my appointment went like this...........

At first Bill and I had know idea how to take this guy. He had a weird sort of personality. He asked Bill NUMEROUS times if he was sure he wanted to be in there with us. I assured him that I was positive I wanted my husband there with me. So we began with why I was there and the symptoms I am experiencing an so on. He asked a bazillion questions and then said for me to remove my shirt and pants (yikes, I always get apprehensive about that sort of thing) so he left the room and Bill and I talked, Bill was a little curious as to why this dr didn't seem to want him in there. I said that maybe because when he does the physical aspect of the exam, Bill might get upset if I seem to be in pain. Bill never handles that sort of thing too well, usually he gets very upset (read:MAD) so I said that maybe it was best if he left the room while I got checked. This was a very good decision because it was VERY painful and I did have a few tears. The dr then tells me to get dressed and he leaves the room. Then he tells Bill to come back in with him so he tell us both (actually his exact words were "You might as well hear this to, just so there is no confusion") So, he starts out by saying this is what I know you don't have, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, or Multiple Sclerosis. What you do have is FM. And he went on to explain the whole deal with it and so on. I ask, okay so what are we going to do? His, exercise and sleep. Apparently he does not believe in pain management! YIKES! He suggests that I take Vitamin D supplements and calcium. That I also take a multivitamin and possibly go gluten free in my diet. He says that ALL the stuff out there, MAY work, but if it was a true thing, they would be recommending it to they're patients. So, okay, I agree 100% that diet and frame of mind are very important and I'm all for trying the vitamins and supplements, BUT, in order for me to start any form of exercise I need to get the pain under control. He disagrees, so that's alright, whatever. I'm just glad he didn't tell me I'm a loon and send me on my way!!LOL All in all, it was a great visit and I really appreciated the time he took to explain everything to us. He was thorough and kind.
He gave a lot of ideas on how to fight FM on a mental side and with healthy foods and through the non-use of drugs, which I want my goal to be.
So, I ended up at my drs office in the hopes of seeing my family dr. She was booked solid. (I was hoping to be able to implement some sort of pain management) I booked an appointment to see her on July 4th, and then just saw a walk in dr to renew my original prescription. Which they did no problem, Praise God!!

So here's my plan. I'm changing my frame of mind and how I view this. Now that I have a diagnosis, it's much easier. FM is not doing ANY damage to my body, it just causes pain. Pain CAN be fought with the mind. I'm going to start Vit D and the calcium (can't hurt!). My inner voice has to change as well, instead of allowing the pain to take over, I must tell it IT'S NOT GOING TO RULE ME! I'm stuck with this forever, and I hope to send it into remission. I have to realize that there are going to be good days and bad days, that's just the way it is. When I see my dr, I want her to know that I DON'T want to take pain meds as a regular thing, but I believe it's my right that I can have access to them IF I feel I need it. I don't think ANYONE should have to be denied pain meds for chronic pain, simply because the dr is afraid of addiction. I believe as long as the meds are used when they are truly needed, they should be allowed. I think it comes down to risk vs benefit, and only I can decided if the pain is unbearable enough to warrant pain meds. It's the tricky thing with pain, everybody is different and chronic pain, is entirely different than having acute pain (broken arm) and nobody can completely comprehend it, unless they experience it. This is why I believe that I have a crucial part in making these decisions.

My ultimate goal, I want to be in the position of pain med free, eating healthy and regular exercise!!! Only using a pain med, if I am in so much pain I cannot function. I'm praying that all the other things will work, and drugs will be a last resort. I'm staying positive, thinking positive and reacting positive!!
Sleep is another issue that I need to address as well, sleep is VERY important to a person with FM. Unfortunately a horrible circle begins because I can't sleep because of the pain, the pain gets worse because I didn't sleep and on it goes. Here's where it becomes imperative that I have a better focus and where my mind over matter will have an important roll. See, here is where I draw the line at drugs, I refuse to use sleeping pills. I don't believe a drug induced sleep is good for the body, therefore I prefer to use something natural (which this doctor is against, believe it or not, no homeopathic jargle for him!!LOL) such as some valerian or chamomile tea. Milk and a banana before bed, those things. Anybody who has taken a sleeping pill knows how icky it is to wake up in the morning...YUCK! No thanks!!! I also will not take a pill for depression. Interestingly enough, I do believe I suffer from depression, BUT, I have discovered it's directly linked to the pain. If I can get the pain under control, I honestly think the depression will subside, not treat the depression and the pain will disappear. (Which BTW DOES work in some FM cases, I just don't believe it's the right thing for me) when I'm not too bad with pain, my frame of mind is great. When I'm in pain, I'm sad and I hurt, I can't clean my house or take care of the kids (playing ball with them, going for walks, ect) I don't get depressed and THEN get pain.

Sooo, there it is. I feel relieved that I have an answer and I can now move on and FIGHT!!! I have too much spiritually and family wise to roll over and say Well, I'm doomed!!LOL

But, I'm going to sign off for now, the wrists have had the biscuit and my kitchen is still calling my name!!!!

Thanks again for all your prayers and lovely emails!!!

Love to you all!!!


A Mama in Seventh Heaven said...

Sorry Candy, I removed your comment because I don't want spam on my site. No offense! Most (all!!) of these sites that offer magical cures in a bottle are scams and ways to lure the innocent into spending thousands of dollars looking for the one magic pill....It doesn't exsist. When you suffer from chronic pain, it's tempting, but I don't buy all the claims, AT ALL.
There are at least a bazillion 'cures' out there on the web and you can bet not one company has it's patients wellbeing at heart, the only they care about is money!!! I won't support ANY of those sites or companies, by visiting their sites or viewing the trash they have plastered on them. FM is very painful and unfortunately no pathology exsists for it, so there is no way possible to find a cure for it (as of right now). There are teams of specialists/drs/scientists situated across the world constantly doing studies to find out what causes it, they have speculations, but no clear evidence. So for now, we just go with what we know!

Lenise said...

Hi. I found you through the Big Yellow House... I have rheumatoid arthritis and a wonderful 20+ lb 8-month-old boy. Anyway, I just wanted to say hey. That story about the Christian doc was great! God really does love us, damaged as we are.