Saturday, March 18, 2006

A Controversial Post

Normally I like to keep things as light as possible around here, but this just got to me and really broke my heart and spirit.
I was over visiting A Place to Grow
and read a wonderful post by Scooby. She also included a link about this.

I am appalled. I have never read any of the Pearl's books, although I too have been tempted to read Created to be His helpmeet. I have been to their website and have read excerpts from their books. I am not against spanking. We spanked Alex when he misbehaved, but now I realize it was just who he was and having the disorders he has. None of my other children have been spanked, Alyssa, maybe once, but I honestly cannot remember. They are well behaved children (most of the time!!LOL) but I find natural consequences MUCH more useful. If you run in the house, you will practice walking in the house. I also will have the children write lines if needed or they will earn extra chores for a sassy tongue. Most times, time out, is very effective here. If you talk or bug someone or don't stay on the chair, your time starts at the beginning again.

I also will remove privileges and take away toys, these they MUST earn back. I believe giving them these tools are much more beneficial, that just resorting to spanking. Children need to learn coping skills and resolution skills, they also need to learn there are consequences for both good and bad actions, this is a fact of life, even as adults. If I am training my children to grow into respectful, considerate and helpful adults, then, these are the tools they need.

Yes, even an 18mo, heck even a 12mo can grasp the concept of NO. Yes, it will take a few times and yes you will have to repeat yourself, but isn't that what we signed up for when we chose to be parents? God has blessed us with a very important job, to raise up children in His name. Yes, obedience is very important, but 'beating' it into them is not required. We should never set up our children to fail, simply so we can 'teach' them it's wrong (as is implied and shown in the Pearl's books) rather we should take the opportunity to teach them as the situation occurs, because no matter what, our children will make mistakes even if we tell them the right way or the better way to do things.

All this to say, that unfortunately for this little boy he was at the mercy of a deeply twisted vision of discipline, which in the end took his life. Many children are the victims of abuse everyday and many children perish at the hands of people they love, it's just so sad and needless. Children are a blessing and should be loved and nurtured and yes, disciplined, but not this way and certainly not with a piece of plumbing material and in the name of our Lord.

May Sean rest in peace and may justice prevail with his murderer.

Hug your children a little tighter today (and everyday!!!)....I know I will be!
God bless!